Most wives in the state of Michigan are getting ready to be widowed for the next two weeks. Here in Michigan we fondly refer to this phenomenon as being a “Deer Widow”. 

     These women have this condition every deer season for about the last two weeks of November. It starts the second week of November when their husbands start to act goofy by babbling to their buddies everyday about deer camp. Then comes the yearly routine of digging in the bottom of the closet for their camo and asking their wives “Honey have you seen my hunting boots?” The wife knows that its coming because of the way he says “Honey”. She thinks to herself, oh no, here it comes again. Next comes the rummaging through the kitchen for every can of pork and beans, soup, and chilli he can find and get away with taking. When the wife asks, “what are you looking for?” he says oh nothing “Honey” I’m just seeing what there is to eat. The last sign of the Deer Widow disease is when the husband grabs the tape measure and begins to size up the space over the mantle for that possible trophy mount.

     Now don’t feel sorry for these women, they have a cure for Deer Widows. They will typically recommend that they socialize with other Deer Widows and meet at local restaurants for a good meal to cure the emptiness. They then typically suggest that they take their husbands credit card and either make a cash withdraw or simply use the card to its fullest potential. This will ensure that there are gifts under the tree this year for Christmas as well as fulfilling her need to hunt as well. You see Deer Widows also like to hunt, they just do it in the shopping malls. They hunt for good deals and a good time with their fellow Deer Widow friends.

     These are the signs and symptoms of being a Deer Widow, so guys get ready to pay the price for going deer hunting. You know that if you bag that trophy buck next week, that it will all be worth it when you have the family over for Christmas and show off that trophy over the fireplace mantle. Besides you won’t get the credit card bill from her hunting spree until after Christmas anyways. Ah deer season, it is a beautiful time of the year, so get out and HUNT!